not just any box
And then it struck me that this might be particular behavior. Even for Wal-Mart.
The scene was this: Me in my too tight jeans (the last ones that fit, stupid unemployment) that end just a bit too low on my rear-end for the shirt that I am wearing. Now to be clear, this is not my fault. When I left the house I was paying particular attention to my jeans/shirt ratio, and found myself to be perfectly covered in all areas.
But that was before this.
I was experiencing a slight breeze in the midsection because I was stretched out on tip-toes, pushing boxes aside, even flailing a little, in order to reach my prize.
I could see it.
It was within my grasp! Top shelf, over my head, behind all the other ones.
My precious.
Bringing a few extra down with it, I grasped my cardboard treasure in one hand, while pulling down the back of my shirt with the other.
I saw the other Wal-Martians eyeing me. Could have been the teal undies peeking up, but more likely they were wondering about my sanity.
See, there’s an industrial-sized aisle in Wal-Mart stocked with paper goods. And in that aisle, maybe 40% of it is taken up by boxes of tissues. The tissue peasants around me might think that any of them are good enough for my darling-little-turned-up-button-nose.
They’d be wrong.
First of all, I am brand loyal and need a Kleenex. Unless I have a full-on cold and go over to Puffs-Plus, but that’s a whole other story. Thing is, all I have now are tree pollen issues. Those require a mid-level tissue. Category Orange alert, you might say (yeah, I could have set it at Yellow Alert, but I’d never sink to that level, never).
Those ones there? Middle shelf? They’re like sandpaper. The ones to the right? One swipe and my skin will start to flake off like dandruff. Ever see face dandruff? Not pretty.
But there, at the end of the row. Kleenex Plus Douces. I have no idea how you say it in English, the French version on the package always stuck in my mind. Plus fine, plus douce, plus résistante. What’s it mean? No nose dandruff.
Now you might think that is the end of my search. You’d be wrong.
Because Kleenex Plus Douces comes it a variety of pattered boxes. And all the patterns are awful. They look like the very worst prints you’d ever find on a Wal-Mart bedspread. I only like one, that one looks like a Target bedspread, and the upgrade is enough for me.
Sometimes you have to work for what you want. And sometimes, that means feeling a breeze go by your belly button. I suppose I could invest in a few pairs of Wal-Mart jeans to close the gap, but you wouldn’t believe the hang ups I have in that aisle…
FaithieP Online 