This Labor Day weekend included a Girl’s Night Out. Just a bunch of ladies sitting around a hotel pool in Clearwater Beach drinking too much. No sweat, right? 90% of the group are married or parents, either event lending a certain amount of adult status to you. Adult street cred, I guess.
All of which was completely blown by 8pm.
I blame the Washington Apples. Because everyone has had that night of drinking that completely ruins a drink for you. Say the words Jagermeister, Goldslagger or Jose Cuervo in a room full of 30-somethings and there will be groans and stories of debauchery and fuzzy memories. I’ve never heard anyone give that groan to Washington Apples – a sweet Jolly Rancher girl drink – but that’s my new story of debauchery. Groan.
Because at Moms Gone Wild ’09 they were as potent as Mind Erasers, thank you Jen The Bartender. And we all drank too many of them. Well, something had to chase the tequila jello shots.
Bottom line, I’ve never laughed that hard in my life. We hit all the marks. There were multiple mentions of a donkey, drunken applications of MAC cosmetics, pictures that will haunt forever, and neighbor complaints (room 103, sorry about that). There were F bombs poolside, and deadly green jello. For some reason there were also mudslides and screwdrivers the next morning, all of which were such a bad idea.
And why do I want to puke now? Why is it after being sober for several hours I almost lost it driving home? Where was that puke around 11pm as we stumbled into some greek plus italian plus greasy spoon after being rejected by (of all places) the Shepards dinner buffet?
The best part is that I had a stomach bug that didn’t really make me feel badly. Just made everything exit quickly. Do you know how hard it is to keep that sort of moment to yourself with 4 other people sleeping in the living room with you, just off the bathroom?
In the end (no pun intended), we all had a great time. And we also proved that a bunch of people who are supposed to be grown-ups still have it in them to still ruin a cocktail for themselves with a night of debauchery. Of course, we were all in bed by 1am.
FaithieP Online 